BELIEVE ME! TWO LASER CANNONS ARE ENOUGH FOR YOU BOY!!

Starring PL Fjap

Space is, like some one pointed out, mind bogging big, yet it all comes down to who is looking at it and from what point of view. Right now space was too small. Pl Fjap tugged frantically at the controls of his Tie fighter trying to make the small, fragile craft move a little bit faster to the right.

Behind him came a screaming X-wing, all four laser cannons blasting. Fjap saw the red bolt fly uncomfortable close to him and he wished he was back home on Anoat hunting Wampa rats or drinking D'es with his friends. In his helmet he heard suddenly a steady sone and saw that the little yellow blinking light in his HUD became red. "Oh bugger" he shouted and in a last desperate attempt to survive he banked sharply to the right then to the left, up, down and sent his fighter on a spinning roll away from the big, quad lasered, missile bearing and extremely hostile X-wing. The sone stopped and to his amazement he saw that the X-wing was unable to keep up with what he thought, excellently daring and skillful maneuvers.

He brought the craft around and suddenly the table was turned on the rebel pilot. With green death spilling all around and sometimes even ripping into the X-wing, Fjap shouted: "Take that you rebel scum". It should be made clear that he wasn't very original when it came to scream at others. In the adrenalin kick Fjap forgot that the X-wings are bigger, stronger, more shielded and slower than most Ties. The rebel pilot banked and slowed down. Fjap followed and unable to stop him self flew straight into the X-wing. The little Tie crumpled like a tin can and a solar panel spinned lonely around it self.

Ltn Richthofen climbed out of his simulator and strode over to a other one. The rest of the flight group stood and sniggered when their flight leader ripped the capsule open and grabbed the still stunned pilot out. "What in the **** were you doing out there?" He shook the pilot and dropped him on the floor. "You began the practice by shooting the flight group down and when the enemy showed up, you tried to fly him down in a unshielded craft!!" Fjap sat on the floor and couldn't speak. Those ******.

When they sat in the cantina last night the other pilots in the flight group told him that the Ltn liked pilots with initiative in these simulations, for instance, shoot the flight group down to get the kills, attack the flight leader and such like. "If you hadn't done so well in the boot camp and the basic training I would personally throw you off the El Pollo Diablo into hyper space." The Ltn shouted "Now do you have any logical explanation?" Fjap, still dazed from the simulation and feeling very stupid, looked up into the red face of his flight leader. "No not really" he murmured. Richthofen exploded at that point. "NO NOT REALLY!!! What kind of answer is that?" Fjap got to his feet, saluted, stood very straight and shouted "No not really SIR!"

Ltn Richthofen calmed down with tremendous effort and dismissed all of his flight group except the sinner. He looked at Fjap and saw that the pilot was trembling a little. Good, let him stew for a while, he thought and walked over to a console and punched a few buttons. The training sprang to life and he watched it from outside. He realized soon that the flight group was playing a prank on the newbie but still, the reckless flying of Pl Fjap was dangerous to all around him, laser pouring out of his T/F and the little craft sometimes seemed to be trying to fly in seven different directions at the same time. He turned around and saw that sweat was running down Fjap's face. "Ok two more hours of training in the simulator. Set the enemy to random, skill easy and craft waves unlimited. When done with that pause for fifteen min,then two more hours, skill medium, pause twenty min, and finally two hours on hard. Then report to me at 06.00 hrs and bring the kill/death ratio."

Fjap swallowed. Six hours in the sim. He looked at his watch and saw he could maybe get a half an hour sleep. "Permission to speak sir." "Granted." "Can I use the T/I sir? It's faster, got more cannons and..." The Ltn shuddered thinking of the green bursts spraying in every direction and thundered "NO! You use the T/F. Believe me! Two laser cannons are enough for you boy!!"

Later that evening Fjap was not enjoying himself. The first two hours were ok for him and he got quite good scores there. He reset and jumped into the Sim to face the medium skill level. That too was good. The scores went down but he was happy and thought he learned a lot. The last two hours turned out to be a nightmare. He met violent deaths again and again. These simulations were vital in the training of pilots and were very realistic. When they first were used they were thought to be so real that pilots failed to spot the difference between real and sim and flew into open death thinking they could always restart.

Imperial technicians solved that problem by making the death seem real as well instead of the usual "you are dead". In addition to that, each level brought more horrible death, more pain. So Fjap sat in the Sim experiencing the white hot explosions and searing heat of crumpling metal along with the freezing cold of space and total breakdown in the life support system in his suit. After one hour Fjap sat shaking and sweating thinking: How am I supposed to fight off two squadrons of X-wings while those damned A-wings circle around trying to get missile lock on me the whole time? All warning lights flashed and then there came the death. Fjap closed his eyes and screamed.

THE END

Author: PL Fjap

Editor: Ltn Rookie

The Author and Editor have done their best to ensure the accuracy and currency of all information in Fjap's Sim Experience. All information is current to 16/6/99 and we can accept no responsibility for any loss or inconvenience sustained by any reader as a result of its information or advice.